


Everything's made to be broken.

by Yamiga



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Toyko Ghoul Root A finale alternate ending, slight romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 13:59:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3612597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamiga/pseuds/Yamiga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Yo, Kaneki”. The words still drifted in the thin atmosphere as light as air. Kaneki gazed at Hide with a burning passion hidden within his chest. An apology resided on the tip of his tongue, yet, he had no idea where to start. He had believed Hide to consider him a monster, but felt speechless when his friend reacted in a way he never expected.<br/>--</p><p>Hide and Kaneki settle things at the coffee shop, once and for all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything's made to be broken.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was prompted by thoughts for the new episode, the knowledge that there will be an acoustic version of Unravel playing, and finally, Iris, by Goo Goo Dolls.  
> And of course it won't really end this way, but this is just how I see it, or how I'd like to see it.

“Yo, Kaneki”. Hide's smile failed to falter as he, blinking his eyes every so often, managed a steady gaze across from Kaneki. In silence, Kaneki stood there, contemplating the idea that he was either dead, or day dreaming. However, when observing Hide's rather bulky apparel from afar, he found himself taken back when he immediately recognized the CCG combat uniform.

 

A series of fears and questions ran through his head as his face visibly contorted. _Why is he in a CCG uniform?_ His heart was pounding, as memories began to hit him like rocks to a wind shield. _Amon...did I...is he?_ Crack after crack, Kaneki felt himself shattering like feeble glass. _How did I get here...why is Hide here!? I don't understand...does he..._ Kaneki began to panic, and hadn't even realized how much he was shaking. _What do I say? What do I tell him?_

 

He recalled the visions he had with Jason, during his torture. He had seen Hide, sitting there with an expression of hurt and distrust.

 

_Why didn't you tell me? You're a **monster.**_

 

Kaneki began to breathe rapidly, attempting to avoid eye contact with the current Hide who stood still in front of him, smiling as wide as ever.

 

_What do I do now? Does he think I'm a monster? Where do I begin? Where do I begin...where do I--_

 

“Kaneki.” Hide's voice overpowered every little siren screaming in Kaneki's mind, causing the frantic ghoul to look up. “It's fine, you know. Everything.”

 

Silence.

 

Kaneki, while assuming silence was somewhat painful, never expected it to feel so _deadly,_ like a knife stabbing at his heart. Silence bore the truth, and it also bore regrets....regrets which Kaneki began to feel at that moment.

 

“H...Hide...” His voice sounded weird, as the all too familiar yet foreign word rolled off of his tongue. “Hide...” He could feel the tremble in the back of his throat, threatening to break him even more than he already as.

 

Hide, acknowledging his name, opened his eyes and smiled wider. “Is there something you need?”

 

“Hide, I'm...I'm s...sorry...” _I'm sorry for everything! I'm sorry for lying! I'm sorry for running away! I'm sorry for being a ghoul....._ Those words, concealed within the pain of his chest, were better unspoken. His expression, he was sure, told Hide everything he needed to know.

Another pregnant pause caused Kaneki to grow nervous. With Hide not saying a word, the door and even window seemed a lot more welcoming.

 

 _Say something..._ Kaneki's heart was pounding. _Say something please..._

 

He didn't know what to do. Was Hide judging him? Would Hide call him a liar? A monster? Would he demand an explanation.

 

_Please say something...say something..._

 

“Ken.” All positivity aside, Hide's voice dropped a few decibels lower. “I--”

 

“Hide, I should've told you, everything.” Kaneki attempted to nervously save himself from the scolding that he predicted. “I just...I didn't...what if you thought I was a monster...and a liar...I didn't...I didn't know...I didn't mean to, I'm sorry...I'm sorry...”

 

Hide, took a step forward, causing Kaneki to looked up past his tear filled eyes. Hide's smile hinted seriousness, until his mouth opened.

 

“It's okay, Kaneki...nothing matters anymore. I'm not angry...let's...” He turned around. “Let's get you a cup of coffee.” As Hide walked to the counter, Kaneki felt as if the thin glass holding him up shattered into a million pieces. He hated the idea of crying in front of Hide, or looking weak in front of Hide in general, but he had no choice in the matter.

 

He fell to his knees in a trembling mess, with his hands cradling his face.

 

“Hey Ken, don't cry.” Hide stood, facing Kaneki. “It's been rough, I know, for both of us....and I can't lie and say it hasn't been hell for me too. But I mean, we both felt it Ken, we both felt it for each other. That's all that matters.”

 

“..I..I...just...wanted...t...to..protect...y...you.” Kaneki kept on, as a warm hand made contact with his shoulder. “I didn't...mean to lie...” Kaneki looked ahead and caught Hide kneeling in front of him, wearing the same casual smile as usual.

 

This caused Kaneki's heart to ache even more.

 

“I didn't...didn't mean for...for...it...to turn out...like this...I just felt like, I...I had to repay you, for...everything...you've...done...I never...wanted to hurt you...” _I love you Hide, and I'd do anything to keep you safe. I never wanted it to backfire..._

 

“I'm sorry...it's okay if, you hate me.”

 

“Ken...” Hide lifted his chin. “None of that matters anymore, the ghouls...Aogiri...not even the CCG. I don't care that you're a ghoul, I don't care what you've done...all I care about is the fact that you've been hurting...for me, not just today, or in these past few months...but for your whole life.” Hide humorlessly laughed. “Funny I've been the one trying to protect _you,_ and look how badly I messed up... But for my sake Kaneki, the best thing you could do now to protect me, is stop hurting...please.”

 

For a second, the two stared at each other with a longing that inquired something more than friendship. Kaneki felt his heart beating, but not out of fear, he supposed Hide felt the same way.

 

“Nothing matters anymore Kaneki. You don't need to hide anymore...let's just..go home already.”

 

Kaneki's tears threatened to spill but Hide only pulled him into a tight hug. They remained like that, for what seemed like an eternity. The lights outside shone into the cafe, but other than that, the two were undisturbed. Kaneki quietly sobbed into Hide's shoulder, praying that this wasn't an allusion.

 

But it had to be, because there was no way, Hide would be this forgiving. Kaneki knew that he'd been through hell and back, but he just wondered about Hide. Months of worry and stress, could've crafted Hide to think negatively about Kaneki. And Kaneki didn't blame him.

 

He was a monster...a liar...he wasn't good enough to stand in front of Hide. But here Hide was, hugging him, like a mother would a lost child. Kaneki felt the warmth that he'd yearned for months ago, the warmth that had been replaced with nothing but fear and disclosure.

 

“What do you say Kaneki? Let's just get out of here...no more Tokyo, no more Japan...”

 

“But...but Kamii and_”

 

“I'd give it all up for you Kaneki. Don't you understand how important you are to me?” Hide took the time to lift Kaneki's head again. “It's fine Kaneki. I have everything I need in front of me.”

 

A few silent sniffles went by as the two helped each other up. Hide was quick to give Kaneki a cup of coffee from the counter. In silence, he watched Kaneki drink. There were gunshots outside, screams, fire, lights...it was too much. Kaneki, even through puffy rimmed eyes noticed the distress in Hide's normally soft honey eyes as he gazed at the chaos outside the window.

 

Extreme guilt began to tug at him.

 

He knew that Hide had sacrificed a lot for his sake, and now seeing him, the real him when he figured Kaneki wasn't looking, was painful. Hide wasn't meant for this. He didn't need to know what tragedy looked like, or felt like. Kaneki knew that he'd seen death, and he'd forced himself to cope...Kaneki blamed himself for that.

 

_Hide is innocent...he's pure...he..doesn't deserve this...I still need to protect him. I need to make up__

 

There was a loud gunshot outside, closer than the two expected. Hide was the first to jump, Kaneki remained stable. “It's okay,” Hide muttered, more to himself. “the CCG's getting closer.”

 

“What if they catch you, Hide. And see you here with me. You'd be a traitor, right?” Kaneki muttered a distance away from Hide. “If we go together, they'll see us...maybe we should go separately_”

 

“Kaneki stop. We're in this together.” Hide turned to face him. “I don't know what's going to happen to you if we leave...at different times...I don't want to lose you again.”

 

“You won't Hide.” Kaneki took a few steps towards him. “I promise! I just, I don’t want the investigators to see us together!”

 

There were more gunshots and this time, Hide's jump was more visible. “We need to go.”

 

“You need to go...”

 

Kaneki was starting to get that foreboding feeling back. That urge to protect, the urge that he was responsible for everything. He still needed to protect who he could...what he could.

 

“Ken, stop! I'm not leaving without you. Stop trying to...to be something you're not.” Hide's voice began to quiver, but it didn't take him long to regain his stability. “Let's just go home! We can find a way out if we leave now.”

 

_Hide is going to get caught, he'll die because of me. The CCG will kill him because of me...Hide's life will be over if he steps out with me. I have to do something...I have to protect him...I have to protect everybody...I'm still not..._

 

Kaneki was in front Hide in seconds. Their noses were just inches apart as their breaths lightly collided. “Smells like coffee...” Hide spoke, rather proudly.

 

“It was made from the best.” Kaneki replied, lovingly yet hopelessly. He placed the cup down on the counter, not daring to break his gaze with Hide. “Hide, thank you,” A hand made its way to Hide's cheek softly rubbing, before Hide understood what was about to happen. “for everything.” By the time Kaneki had finished, Hide's eyes opened wide in horror.

 

He cursed himself for not realizing Kaneki's malicious intent before, but still tried to evade.

 

It was of course, to late. By the time he took a step back, the pressure of Kaneki's hand on the back of his neck paralyzed him. Before Hide could protest, he was on the ground, drifting away.

 

“I need to do something....” Were the last few words Hide heard before everything faded to darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> I do understand that Kaneki's pain needs to be noticed and I see that in a lot of stories, but very rare is there ever a story that touches up on how Hide feels. I didn't do a good job in this one but at least Kaneki noticed. I hope you enjoyed. The episode comes on tomorrow and I'm just dreading what's going to happen.
> 
> Sorry this story wasn't over the top romantic, and kisses, I wanted to keep it slow kind of! Hope you enjoy, please tell me what you think!


End file.
